When I was studying Managing People and Systems, Chapter 10: Individual and Group Behaviour, there is a topic about Individual Perception. It says "... People do not respond to the world as it really is, but as they perceive it to be. If people act in ways that seems illogical or contrary to you, it is probably not because of stupidity or defiance, but because they simply do not see things in the same way you do..."
I came to understand that, I mean more understand that the words do have their own power to persuade something/someone that you really care. But I just can't express my feeling in words, I tend to keep quiet....it is pathetic. I'm acted on my own! Acted selfish too! Which I never want to change eventhough I realize about it.
I didn't know that my family is ('was' as in the past) so forgiving for these eighteen years....ever since I'm born in this family. They just simply love me with their pure hearts, nothing but the their true feelings towards me. Though they always say don't want to care about me anymore, don't want to buy things for me, don't want to bring me out...they won't...they simply forget about it the next day, everything become normal again the next day. As if I am used to it, that's why I never pay attention to those matters, because everytime, it turns fine again the next day. Yes, I'm just used to it...
Actually today I got class at night from 7-9pm, but just now I just received a message from Ing Ping. She said that Mr. Kong cancelled the class. At first, I didn't really care about it, because it really doesn't matter to me. Then I continued my study, then suddenly, something flashed through my mind, I looked at the clock, it is 6pm, daddy went to tapau Bak Kut Teh, because mommy wants to eat (write to here....I realize that this is love too). I quickly picked up my phone and called daddy to tell him that no need to rush, because my class had cancelled. He was already at the Bak Kut Teh outlets at the moment. I expected him to answer like this: "HUH? Why cancelled? Why didn't you tell me earlier?!" Well...He didn't, He said:"Oh, okay." in a gentle tone. Yea, I can feel the 'smell' of love surrounding me now.
Someone talks to me a lot, but I always keep quiet when I'm facing him. I just scared it might continue in this kind of situation too...probably he has to keep quiet, so that I'll ask him, at least I'll ask him (I experienced it this evening, though just a bit, the feeling of keep on asking...)....nah nah...just kidding!! I'm learning, consider I'm a beginner, a beginner who wants to advance to intermediate level.
Ever since we decided to walk together the road towards the future, I didn't express my feelings a lot, perhaps in a peaceful way, until everything became so complicated, I almost ended it up myself, with my own hands. I almost made another man with the same surname disappointed with me thoroughly, I mean T-H-O-R-O-U-G-H-L-Y. The first man is my ex-boss, who is really kind to all his staffs. I do pay my respect to him, however I disappointed him with my own silly mistake. I still remember clearly the expression on his face when he called me and another senior to go in his office. No...it's okay...though he was angry with me, but I don't feel angry with him, he has my respect! Come to think of it, it was probably a wrong move to recruit me under his business.
The second guy, is another story, he just over-kind to me which I didn't really realize it until today. It is/was other people, including my parents, my family, my friends and him except myself who are giving me chance again, again and again. They just simply love me with their pure hearts and feelings (I know I repeated, just let/allow me repeat again)..
That chapter, I read second time, bacause I want to recall the memory so that I can actually remember them in the simple sense of I won't forgot during the exam and also because it likely to come out in the exam according to my analysis. The first time I read, I got think about that phrase too, but totaly in a different way as now. Yes, it is true, that's why conflicts come across between human relationships, but I cannot feel anymore other than this.
This is the longest post I have ever write since I started this blog in First of October 2008. suddenly feel that it is so good to have blogger.com, I'm stupid in expressing feelings in speech...hmm...I think is my heart just semi-open like he said, as for now, I can express it out in words.
I am just too 幸福 (...English don't have this word, isn't it?) being loved ardently by everyone who love me. I want to love everyone with all my heart, love my dad, love my mom, love my brother, love my family, love my friends and lastly, love him and his family with all my heart.
OMG.....i gonna own this freakin' lappie soon, can't wait already ahhhhhhhhh, i have been eyeing on this long time ago, though i also got consider M800, but this one just look....too Dazzlingly Beautiful to me. Mom i love you!!! hahaha, well...i paid 73.27% of the total cost, my purse will lose its weight bloodily in a quick pace with cash payment this saturday...saturday...still got 5 days to go..um....erm..
THEREFORE, i'm here to say million + billion thank you to:-
My ex-boss when i was working in his audit firm from mid-Dec(last year) to July-end for the salary he paid to me
Yayasan Sarawak for the 500 bucks (an unexpected extra income)
Yang Berhormat, Parent's Scholarship Chief Executive Officer + Finance Director + President of board of directors (actually there're only two members, including him another YB below), my daddy for contributing 300++ bucks because of ... a very long story
And lastly, also a YB, but is Yang Beloved, Parent's Scholarship Purchasing Department Manager, my mommy, the remain cost you incurred will be greatly appreciate by the exclusive Parent's Scholarship holder, which is me!!
Ah hem...That's all, Thank you everyone!! Thank you, love you all!!!
Just want to share with all of you who read my blog
This is a nicely-packed Crystals.
So beautiful..
It takes me a few minutes just my looking at it.
Clemmy gave me this afternoon
*Sweeet*
And this one, I gave to Clemmy. It is adorable, right? With Loves as the background A Fishbone and a Fork I bought it after looking for so long The purple-little baggy It gives out soothing fragrance. They just look too nice for me to hang it by my handphone
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, it was such NICE and BEAUTIFUL place, it is really great if i can stay overnight there! actually i didn't go de, but after several thought.......okay lo, go lo..... anyway the 60 bucks worth it! i took lot of photos, my first laopo, Alice also helped me took a lots of funny photos, can't wait to show you guys, have a laugh please!!!!
i'm at the waterfall site when taking this photo
WE are boating!!! Fun!! (me, fei ling, patrick, shu jun and ying jian) Ji Hao and Ah May (the photo is so romantic, right? I took it!!!!) we are under attack!!! (in the middle)
at the waterfall site too, took by alice (hehe) guess what are we doing? we are imagining that we are playing roller coaster!! haha leave it for you guys to comment LoL i helped Sandy company to advertise, the feeling is so good me and fei ling......so lesssss = =
Tarzan coming!!! guess what? i'm fishing....oh no.......i broke the rule!! jump!!! it it me (left), patrick (mid), hui ru (right)
i wish i could live here, the air here just too good, but the mosquitoes just too poisonous ><
(just kiddin' hehe)
after enjoying all these photos, your heart is bumping, your blood is flowing quickly right? haha, still wait for what? go now!!! i want to go for the second time!!! it was soooooooooooo fun!!!
yesterday evening i receiveda msg from Cecily, she told today they want to give ying jian a birthday surprise in patrick's house. so after i finished my class, i met them at xin xxx cafe, then fei ling and cecily ride my car to patrick's house at pujut 7, his house is
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo big and beautiful, sell bird nest de really rich! there were lots of doggy in his house, we went in from the back door. ying jian, the star had already inside there, we terus sang the birthday song in different language (chinese, english, malay, cantonese) hahaha, it was so fun!
patrick's house has a small bar, i could see fei ling and him really looked like a couple, they both stood inside the bar and tried to act like pro bar tender to serve us different mixed wine, he even got a menu!! the wine was so nice with a small piece lemon to reduce the alcoholic effect...that's why i drank three small cups of wine, my face still haven't become red yet
after that everyone became so high, we sang ka-la OK, sang a lots of songs, from old songs to new songs, soothing songs to hot songs, especially when we sang '对面的女孩看过来(the girls opposite are looking here)' we separated to girls and boys groups with the tv as the middle line, we kept on pointing at each other when the we were singing!
i played until 1pm++ and sat at the bar to have another two smalls cups of wine. then i rested a while and fetched cecily back. it was lot of fun yesterday, i will remember it!! i had never played until so crazy before!
Alice (first laopo), Hui Ru(third laopo), and Me
...and today, clemmy and i will go to somewhere, i hope i wont feel nervous again when i see him...cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer~~
Did u ever know that you are already acting selfish when you are writing that? It is not that I'm angry I know how miserable you are So do I know that the school, or even the whole KL have many bad influences
I'll protect myself I also want to protect you At the time you decided to have me by your side You should have knew that I'm not fooling around with you Something I have given you It is yours already No one can take it away
You also know that those guys are just playing around So do I I go there Only to further my study This is my only goal
I understand that words might be powerless Actually up until now I will still feel nervous when you are beside me I don't know how to get rid of it though I tried to calm myself
Yesterday, I attended his wedding whose his wife, Ru Xia was so beautiful that night, however, i dont really know him, we never talk to each other before....this is freakin'ly weird. and this became my first red bomb in my life. this wedding was more interesting than i expected. : x because there was no boring speech, after the ceremony started, the couple walked in and the guest kept on taking their photos. they straight forward served the food. no speech! Really! they prepared choir and hand-speech performance, at the end the myac member went up the stages and sang some songs, i also went up in the half way...haha, the fun always got in in the end! i took some photos with my friends
the M girls Conan's sister, the comic was released on 09/10/08 me and qin zhen me and hui ru me and pauline me and yin ru an qi, the grandmom me and bird nest me and an qi me and fei ling
可能是你说将来要设计自己的屋子，这个想法，从我 Form 4-5 开始的吧。。到目前为止，我只想到未来的家的客厅，一定要有很大片的玻璃，有个地方是凸出去的, 像以下这样子，凸出去的地方，有个差不多40cm高的木块 that fit in nicely，一定是要木做的！！！闲空时，可以坐在那里望着窗外发呆。 : x
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)? Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)! Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent. Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital. Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller : You are so rude! Who are you? Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry). Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
This is hilarious ... Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names: Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)《肮脏。华语》 Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)《安静。华语》 Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)《灰尘。华语》 Carl Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)《屁股。福建话》 Monica Cheng => Touching your buttocks (Hokkien)《摸你的屁股。福建话》 Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)《你死了。福建话》 Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)《煎蛋。华语》 Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)《输死了。福建话》 Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)《恨你妈。华语》 Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)《可怜呆。福建话》 Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)《破产。华语》 Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)《鸟生蛋。华语》 Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)《垃圾桶。华语》 Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)《脚毛长。福建话》 Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)《叫你妈。广东话》 Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)《等你死。福建话》 Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)《螺丝钉。福建话》 Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)《鼻屎。福建话》 Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)《没死过。广东话》
9.30am, i drove my car to st. columba, my ex-school, for nothing but the 500 bucks, i can't believe i got it from yayasan sarawak, everything feel so nice at the moment. i reached the school, get down from my car locked it. by catwalk, i walked to the school gate (just kidding). a teacher (probably is a new koperasi teacher-in-charge), she was arranging the food. back then, it was ms yeoh who did that, now she's in penang, back to her hometown. hm...i have been missing her too, she taught me accounting last time in form 5, thanks to her, i was able to achieve good result in SPM
at the pejabat am, i saw my. yuan. we had a short conversation and then the clerk gave me the yayasan cert and a cheque writing 500 bucks (i think it is not a cheque, but....nvm), i quickly look at the date of issue and it was 22/7!!! YEA, the cheque still valid until 22/10. i left pejabat am after thanking them and i sit beside the hall at the dining table. looking around, listening to Fish Leong's songs, i found out that they removed the 'Tak' principles posters, there was a campaign last year which was held by our school, chung hua and st. jo. they also added the school songs at the back of hall.
looking at phone, the time already passing 9.55pm. yi zhang he could come out earlier but i didn't see him at all. after a while, some guys and girls wearing black blazers coming towards me (another joke), they came to buy food at koperasi, then i saw lu ming, i quickly show him the victorious sign. back then, when he greeted me, i would gave him this sign and he would show me three fingers in turn (haha, all these were learning from teh, when i greet him, he also show me the victorious sign).
suddenly, someone hit my shoulder and it was i zhang, i scolded him for being so late! he peeked at my cert and saw the amount, he quickly theaten me to chia him eat pizza, really 狮子开大口, i promised him will chia him after his exam, but i dont know i can fulfil this promise or not, lolx...
then he had to bertugas at block C, i also left the school after a while. in the afternoon, dady fetch me to BSN to process the 'cheque', i can only redeem the 500 bucks after 45 days, really mafan de.....but nvm, thanks to yayasan i got extra income. LoL
yes, i did it! though Jia Long was so late today, but he came anyway, then we had a High High T practice, as we expected (...), we did it successful. then we all went to lim teh at No. 5, eat/drink rojak and icy drinks. The MOST humourous part is Jia Shun gave us a lecture about 'forgiving'. we should always be forgiving and stay calm whatever thing happens. then we kept on teasing him and ask him to forgive us for being rude to him. hahax.......the whole lim teh 'process', i couldn't stop laughing. i even laughed until stomach ache.
Jia Shun ordered two dishes of rojak with sotong and 'ong cai' (a kinf of vege) ah mei ate the sotong (rojak), and the rojak sauce chun chun drop on my wallet. she called ah moi to take some tissue, Ah bao put in a word, he said, 'call the ah moi takes '金纸' (golden tissue). then i dont know how, they kept on saying 'jin zhi yi YOU, si ma nan zhui' i could not understand what are talking about, so i asked clement, well, he didn't know how to explain to me. ah bao told me to think in a scientific way, JING ZI...OHHH!!! aduh, the sperms. kek tio!! so actually in chinese should be like this: 精子一游，驷马难追
after a while, a chocolate-couloured dog came, Jia Shun used tissue to 摸 (touch...XD) it, then he let the dog smelled the tissue, and said 'doggy, this is your smell.... Ah bao then took a tissue and fold it into a small piece, asked Clement to do the same as Jia Shun did to the dog, clement actually wanna use the tissue to touch his head, but it seems impossible, so he touched his hand and said, 'Jia Shun, this is your smell.....(hahahaha) i told Jia Shun to forgive Clement as this is his favourite quote starting from when we sit down together. Jia Shun's face expression, i should have taken down a photo ><
after that, i asked Jia Shun to give another lesson next time when we come out to lim teh again XD this was fun, really fun! i'm loving it!!
these two days so suay, yesterday i practised high T, i knocked my head when i have to lay down, and today, doing the same thing, i hit my thumb, now still so painful. i took up a pen and try to write something.....omg.......i still can write LoLx, because my base changed, changed to Jia Long and Clement, and their height not the same when we do High High T, so i couldn't balance myself and dropped down. tml gonna be tough too, morning study Tax; evening practice pom pom from 1.15 to 4.30pm ; at night, rehearsal. another full schedule for sunday!! Great!! just now before practice, i have dinner with Jun xiang and Xian Long in Cai Geng Xiang, Jun Xiang chia me eat lolx. Thank you! i ate fried mee hoon and drank chocolate milk shade. *delicious* hm.... i should have take down some photos....><
Look, i added a lot of things today, the html thingy really made me confused, but i'm still okay with it, just spent *a little bit* time to invesgate some of the basic html(s), and i installed a program, without it, i couldn't have satisfy with my blog's template -- Microsoft Expression Web 2007. Thanks to this program, i'm able to make this far. Oh yea, next week I'll go to school to get something in the Pejabat Am, and too, meet my lovely brother, Yi zhang, missed him so much >< hahax
i told my dad that i wanna go to Ulu Kapit to further my study, his reaction was quite calm, but i could knew his heart was not calm at all, i told during the way back from canada hill, i just dont know why i told him at that moment, maybe because it was buried in my heart for too long. chinese says 不吐不快 (you will feel uncomfortable if you dont say it out). he directly said that he probably can't afford to let me study there, i told him i'm finding scholarship. however, CAT exam still haven't sit yet, this is still the most important thing to do now. okay.. at least i have a plan, right? i have to say thank you for ellis who has help me in this matter. xie xie ni, dai lou!! arigatou gozaimasu, kamsahamnida!!
wow......够力.... today really full schedule, just came back from the canada hill again... this morning, i woke up at 7.30, then change my hp to digi line(becoz yesterday night i changed to flight mode to avoid the 'selamat hari raya....blah....'). at the moment i switch to digi line, 2 msg and 1 miss call. mei(my cousin) called me, told me MUST go to canada hill to take picture for our team.....zzzz, then i terpaksa to go there, 'xin kui' got 'shun feng che' (ying jian), i not need to drive all the way to the mountain. fine, after taking those PICTURES, i ride another shun feng che, Patrick's one, to Shang hai Lou cafe lim teh, THEN, went home, changed clothes, go to malay freinds bai nian, AFTER THAT, went home again, go to practise gymnastic (actually is Pom Pom XD) yep...at least i can do high high T... okay......hm... next time i'll try to put some pictures (I promise) practise until 4.00pm, jun xiang said wanna go canada hill again, omg, fine, okay, i called daddy to wait at home to fetch me to canada hill, i wore my war robe and war shoes, waiting to torture them in the mountains (whahahahaha) arrive there, ah bao, jun xiang, kelvin, yong hao, jin wei, cecily, jassie and ME!!!! we started our run at the red roof there, so total 3 mountains. at first so far so good, when almost reach the third one (the exit), jun xiang buay tahan again, yep, his face was whiter than the A4 paper. however, after a rest, we cotinued, finally, we reached the exit!! we had a talk there, then dismissed. and i'm back here, writing this........
Hello, first time play bloggy, yoroshiku onegaishimasu!! just because i saw some friends very active in this, so u can say i also got addicted with this thing (crap...) well.....now i quite free, because i'm at home planting durian tree, waiting durians to drop. so maybe i will try to post as much as possible, k?
yesterday, i went to canada hill with some of my 'pom pom' teammates, including jia long, jia shun, jun xiang and his friend. coz i saw them quite 'geng', so i ran very fast in soon after going in the hills. both Jia's really not bad, can follow me closely, but jun xiang...lol...after almost two hills, cannot tahan le, when he reach the peak of second hill, his face was white like a piece of A4 paper, he said, cannot le, buay tahan......hahah, then i asked him whether the day getting darker...he said yes....getting darker, he terus sit beside the rocks. we quickly went to pluck some big leaves to fan him. after around 10 minutes, he felt better, so we all went out from the short cut.
today, he called me, he said he wanna climb canada hill again tommorrow, he told his legs have nothing wrong, but i told him yesterday that his muscle will be very painful the second day after he climbs, it seems he dont believe me, so probably tmr i'll see the result XD......i'm so bad
later have a dinner at boulevard restaurant because grandmom having her birthday today.....i din buy anything for her (oh man.......) well......see ya....
oh no.......i broke the rule!!
jump!!! it it me (left), patrick (mid), hui ru (right)
